24 yo thoughts

This post is from 2013 August

Being home makes me realize why I miss home, why I left home, and this melancholy feeling to everything back home, makes me re-think about what I really want to pursue in life.

Being with my family. They make me feel like THEY ARE my happiness that I’ve been majorly missing out since I left for college. But deep down I also know myself and what I want to do with my life to make me happy in a long run. I just want to make them proud of who I have become and with what I’m about to do with my life. 

This trip home gave me an answer to my long standing question- 

You got your dream.

You got your goals.

You believe you are capable.. but is this what I really want?

And when your confidence breaks, and you find yourself alone in the middle of a foreign country, you see your friends happily married back home, starting a family, getting a stable life, people tell you your expiry date is getting closer..you don’t want to fail and be left miserable all alone…it’s scary.

But being home is the time to reflect on yourself. Where you come from and where you’ve been to makes a big part of you. 

I know more than anyone, I want to achieve my goals and realize my dreams.

I am more convinced than anyone, this is who I am.

And every minute I stumble in fear and wonder “Should I settle down like others”

my gut tells me “You know that’s not what you want”

The strength to be so sure, the strength to stay focused, the strength to keep going when there’s no promise to a success,

I may not always have it, but it is in me, unless I change to be someone else.

This trip home made me realize that once again. And for that I am grateful for being home.


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